We often strive towards something in our lives which we, deep down, don’t believe either we are worth or are capable of – whether it be a business endeavor or a personal one. Have a look at the following expressions and see if you can fill in the blanks:
Money doesn’t grow on……
…….is the root of all evil
Time is ……….
I’m not made of ……….
If you knew one or all of these idioms then it goes to show how deeply ingrained they are in our society. Even if we don’t consciously believe them, chances are good that those or similar belief systems are controlling the way you operate without your being consciously aware. It is our attitudes about our income levels and what we can achieve financially that prevent us from moving past our personal levels of acceptable success. The same applies to our personal goals and successes.
So how can we remove these inner conflicts and prevent them from sabotaging our goals and dreams? Firstly we need to become aware that they exist in our own consciousness. We need to notice how we think and feel about the topic which we are striving to change. If we desire a new car, for example, but believe new cars are a waste of money, there is a conflict which will manifest in some way as to play our your beliefs. We don’t allow ourselves to have what we want if we are constantly talking against the idea, either consciously or unconsciously.
We strive to attain a new car, for example, consciously when all the while we talk against it from our negative belief that new cars are a waste of money. Our self image about money and status may also be holding us back. We might accept that we either don’t really want a new car that much or decide that we can let go of our old belief that ‘new cars are a waste of money’ and buy one – assuming we can afford one of course!
The same concept is true of relationships. We may, on the surface desire a happy and fulfilling relationship but when we talk of the possibility of a relationship we may be very negative and cynical and talk against the idea. There may be an internal conflict about your worthiness of having something you believe is out of reach or you may believe you would have to give up too much in order to keep your partner ‘happy’. Whatever our beliefs are which are holding us back the good news is that they are simply the ‘records’ that we have been playing in our heads – you can change the record. Remember though that if you have held a belief for a long period of time it becomes a strong ingrained belief and it takes time to first notice and accept that this is holding your back and then begin to sing a ‘different song’ and slowly change the old belief.
How to integrate your subconscious and conscious minds for greater success and happiness
So with all this inner conflict going on is it any wonder that you aren’t achieving exactly what you want? Your subconscious mind is wise and knows that sometimes it is for your own benefit that you hold yourself back. When you resolve the inner conflicts between what you think you want and what you know is right for you, everything falls into place and life becomes much easier.
1. Start by writing down a few of your goals – personal and professional. Things which you would like to improve about your life.
2. Next to each one write down why you haven’t yet achieved this yet.
3. Next to each of your objections/reasons write down an opposite statement. For example if one of your reasons why you haven’t got the relationship you want yet is “women/men are too much trouble”, write next to it something like “women/men are great fun” or something which is more positive. It should be something which you can be ok with and not have resistance to.
4. Read aloud your new positive statements and ignore the negative ones. If you struggle to believe the new statement then re-write it so that it is more acceptable to you.
5. Keep doing this and re-reading the new statements so that eventually you are creating a new and acceptable story to tell yourself on this topic.
6. Re-read these statements on a daily basis and every time you catch yourself saying one of the negatives (either to yourself or aloud), stop and re-affirm the new positive statement.
The reasons you have written down are what you tell yourself about either you or your situation but which prevents you from getting what you really want. You are programming your unconscious with these (false) beliefs and so your unconscious mind obliges by preventing you from getting it! You need to get your conscious and subconscious minds working together in order to achieve what you truly desire. This means changing some old limiting beliefs which no longer serve you. There may also be a payoff to the old belief which prevents you moving towards another goal. Become aware of what this might be and decide if you really want that for which you are striving towards.